Dilemma

It's fine. I understand.









You know what? I don't.

As a matter of fact, I really can't read people's minds. And certainly not yours. Just because I was willing to let my guard down doesn't mean that you of all the people out there should do this to me.
You think all of this is just a game huh? Well, let me tell you. By all means if I feel threatened, there wouldn't be any friendship between us again. You hear me?
When will you ever learn that I don't give a damn bullshit about what kinda stupid childish game that you so ignorantly pulled up. I'm not interested. Hear me? NOT interested.
Go on and play your stupid, really really idiotic games, and you'll see that I'll have nothing to do with you after that.

I'm sorry I had to blog about it. Cause I don't suppose that it'll end here. Well, I couldn't contain any more anger in me. And neither do I want to hate someone I trust so much. You get me? I don't want to walk down that path of tricks and untruth. I want to be able to believe. To have hope. I want to see a bright future for everybody. Not turning myself against the good. You know something? My friend believes that her only faith is in God. God bless her. Well, MY faith is in the people I trust. I don't want to loose that faith yet. Not now. And maybe not forever. I want to believe that trusting people is not wrong. I want to believe in people. I want to believe that there is more in this world than hurt and pain. I want to believe that word "friends" means much more that just a shallow noun.

Yes, of course many might say that misunderstandings do happen. Of course I do not doubt that. But then, misunderstandings or not, everyone has a limit. Either the "unfortunate misunderstanding" is solved immediately, nobody would be happy right? So please, do not create anymore trouble for anybody okay? The fact that you're sometimes annoying, I still find you likeable. I do not want to ruin our friendship because of the "misunderstanding". So everything that I've blogged about here is true. And I do understand if you're hurt. But please do consider that for every "inappropriate" act that you had made cut deeply into some poor half-shattering heart, and please do consider that that heart won't take anymore cuts from no one. Being unable to do anything unwise about your "inappropriate behaviour" is my regret. Maybe. And perhaps, my first ever regret in life.

I'm not trying to be snobbish or anything. Plus, I don't want to appear high and mighty. But I've got a life. I don't want mine to be ruined. At this brink and point of life, you may not have known what's really really going on, and how I may have felt towards things. But that I do not blame you. You've got your own life too, and a beautiful one at that. I'm not asking for anything, just you know maybe..grow up? please?

I would so much like to say how wonderful is friendship. Recently, some of my friends have encountered problems involving the word "friends". I couldn't understand why was it so hard to just hang around. I mean, as friends? you get what I meant? Was it so hard to just fit in? As long as everyone was happy? I knew i was.

I just couldn't get them. I do now. It's no use hidding from my feelings anymore. Now I ask myself. What does the word "friends" mean to you? I don't know.