commitment

Today, I asked myself, why is it that some people just cannot commit themselves further in a relationship. Be it friendship, romance relationship etc.

I ask myself again, is it hard?

human + human + friendly = friendship
human + human + friendly + commitment = ???
human + human + friendly - commitment = ???




Committed - Elizabeth Gilbert

Are those butterflies?

It's a little bored when I'm not working. Okay, it's extremely bored. Time actually "crawls" when I'm not working. Although I have to practice piano, prepare worksheets for Shannon, help out with the household chores and such, I feel so so so (x infinity) bored. I feel that I'm dawdling all the time and I'm wasting time. It must be the after-effects of 14 years of non-stop-studying. It goes to the extend that I even find facebook and television a bore. Especially since most of my friends are either studying or working (or touring), and I feel so so so damn bored..augghhhh...I feel terrible!!!

Sometimes, I think about the time when our SPM results will be announced. Whether it will be good, or just fairly okay, or bad?!? I don't have a hint. What adds to the bore is that nobody's free and available to chat with me. So I have to make do with Duston's barks..lolz..and of course the music from iTunes.

And I have been skipping lots of exercises. Either the time is not appropriate, or bro won't tell me the time, since it takes 2 or more ppl to play badminton. DOn't ask me to jog or run however, cause I'll be too lazy.

And so I've been thinking of playing maple again. But then again, I'm afraid it might affect my performance in piano (especially since I've an examination coming up at March) and my mood to work. So it's still in the pending section. Though the possibility of me playing maple again will be 0.1%. Which also means there will be a 99.9% possibility that I will not indulge myself in MAPLE anymore. Since I know the damages MAPLE can do to just anyone, it's got a "DANGER" sign attached to it. SO, that's the odds.

By the way, I keep feeling there's butterflies in my stomach..

NOT ONE HOWEVER...

BUT MANY...
Yep and it's right in the gut of my stomach. It's been like that for one whole day. I think I sense something coming. I just hope it turns out to be something good.... =D

It ends with a once in a life time chance

As usual, it's quite bored since I graduated from Secondary School. Of course I've helped out a little at home with the household chores and such. But somehow something's missing, and I hope it's not academic education. Of course lots of friends are geared up for the January intakes to colleges and year 2010 will have a lot to offer to these little adults of the future. I was just thinking how nice it could finally be that we get to study the subjects that we are interested in, instead of those which we are force to study for example........[---]...........

And since I'll be waiting for the results to be announced, which will probably be in March, working seemed to be a preferable resort. Not so as in wash the toilets, wait on customers, serve hot dishes, but something more different. I just hope I'll get on with the colleagues, now that I'll be stepping out of the threshold of the comfortable household door.

However, occasionally I still miss my friends, from primary and secondary. They have been a part of my life which has made me into what I am today and partook this long journey with me towards maturity. And also the second home I found in 24 seasons drum, which I miss so utmost and regretfully. Shall I ever have the chance to experience it all again, it would be an instant nod without hesitation.

Almost everytime I type, the ideas come surging so intently and wildly that the paragraphs and points might jumble up. So I do apologise if you find it weird. * I suddenly wanted to type "I'm bored" ..you see what I mean?? *

Anyway, happy new year!!! DOn't forget, always capture the moment because every moment is a one in a lifetime chance!

6M Reunion 2010

In regard to a joyous evening of our 6M gathering, I would like to write a few words as a memory of what happened today.

First and foremost, I would like to present my utmost appreciation to my dear parents, who willingly agreed on letting us use the house as the location for the gathering. Especially to my mom, who went to all the trouble to cook a delicious meal of spagetti, nasi beriani, tanduri chicken and tom yam bee hoon. Thx mom and dad!

Next I would like to thank Eugene, my co-organiser, for giving great effort in contacting members of our "6M family", preparing stuff, and contributing energy and ideas during the process of preparation.

I would also like to say thanks to Xin Khai, for sharing with us his barbeque pit, Ze Chuen who went to the trouble to prepare the chicken, Xin Tze who prepared the fruits last minute, Liang Sun for his nuggets, Sara for her egg sandwiches, Su Lynn for her jelly and keropok, Yee Ying for her agar-agar, Ah Juan for ordering Dominoes Pizza, Jonathan for our "us" birthday cake, Zi Ling for specially coming earlier to help out with stuff and lastly and most gratefully to NOEL NG NUO ER!!!! He generously used more than RM200 for our gathering, he bought meatballs, sausages, balloons, drinks (sprite and sunquick), cups, plates, and other cutleries etc.

And also to thank everyone who took their time off to come to this gathering. I'm sure everyone had a great time and bonds between us were reconciled somewhat during the process of the games and dinner session. Thanks to those who came, because of this, we were able to meet up with people we lost contact with for the past 5 years.

I would also say like to say thanks to Ai-Yin, the game master, for persuading her family to allow the house to be used for the gathering occasion, finding the SKEWERS (not screwers), cleaning the porch, clearing the living room and make everyone enjoy the somewhat little time we had to enjoy our gathering.

But I'm really really grateful that the gathering turned out well, although some people had their feet stepped on, the legs hit till the veins threatened to burst, all which happened during the games, but oh, I'm waiting for someone to upload the pictures of the mouth feeding punishment using the keropoks, in which, Eugene, Li Yen, He Liang, Yee Ying, and Ze Chuen were punished. Lolz..

And of course, pictures were snapped. And it seemed so obvious then, that everyone had grown up a lot during this 5 years, and I'm sure it came as a surprise that we still can play and chat to each other as before and as we used to in primary school.

In conclusion, I lost my voice, I think it'll not be able to function as well as it did this morning. Oh well, I'm sure somebody else must have also lost his or her voice as the house was practically half filled with screams of delight, surprise and shock. =)

I hope to see more uploaded pictures XD XD XD hahaha

It's early in the morning at about 1.45am just after the gathering. It ended close to 1am. Thanks to those who stayed back to help our with the cleaning. =)
Because after today, I'm sure we'll part ways. Each on their own, into unfamiliar grounds. If God allows, then maybe there'll be another gathering at the end of this new year (2010). And even so, many might not be able to attend because of school and college homework. So, I am really really glad that we had a great and fun time today. So, good luck to those who are going to NS!!! haha...and good luck to those who are starting their furthur studies in college. May God bless you throughout your journey towards sucess. =)


The end. ^^

* ps, I would also like to thank Duston, for generously loaning his playground ( the side porch) for the location of our barbeque pit.

SPM fiesta

Preparing for SPM is QUITE (to the extreme way) stressful. You want to study, and you KNOW you just have to study but somehow, you're not in the mood, or you're tired of it, or something you can't figure out just simply pisses you off. Many people face the same problem I'm sure.

In which during the afternoon, I was studying history. Suddenly the word Woodrow Wilson popped out and "ppoooff" I surprised myself by forgetting about woodrow wilson. So, having freaked out, I stomped upstairs and frantically searched out the name in the history textbook.(that's a little elaborated explanation) Turns out it's a declaration made after World War I. That really freaked me out cause for someone who's been studying the same subject for 6 days, I couldn't even remember something as simple as that, what would give me the confidence to sit for the exams.

By now, you'll find eyebags the same size as my eyes. hahaha.But no worries, I'm sure my friends have eyebags THRICE the size of their eyes. I've seen it, so there's no doubting that! Conclusion, We still have less than 30 day towards freedom. I'll have to go to school 13 days for the exams. So that accounts to not really much time spent at our most beloved dear school. And then it'll be "adios"!!

Anyway, GOOD LUCK to those who're going to sit for the SPM and STPM!!

Aquarius Astrology January 20 - February 18

Aquarius Strength Keywords:

- Witty
- Clever
- Humanitarian
- Inventive
- Original

Aquarius Weakness Keywords:

- Stubborn
- Unemotional
- Sarcastic
- Rebellious
- Aloof

Aquarius and Independence:

Aquarius personality is very independent, any attempt to hold them down or restrict them will cause them, to flee. They need to be free to be on their own. Independence is not just desired by Aquarius, it is essential to their well being.

Aquarius and Friendship:

Beneath the detached, unemotional exterior lies a kind hearted friend that will go out of their way to help another. They love to make people laugh and cheer people up and it makes them feel good to make others feel good. They do not expect anything in return for this could put a damper on their freedom, they live with no strings attached. They are very unconventional and always full of excitement, an Aquarius friend always makes life fun. They might offer you a spontaneous last minute camping trip with no supplies prepared, if you decide to go along, you will have a weekend to remember forever!

Aquarius and Business:

Aquarius likes to do something useful with their lives, mixing that with their amazing way with people, they make excellent politicians and social workers/psychologists. They are progressive thinkers and are great at forming new ideologies and theories, any type of research is very suited to Aquarius. Aquarius one downfall in the business world is the attention to detail, they like the grand ideas and massive plans and can make them happen, but the mundane day to day repetitive details causes them to procrastinate. Aquarius needs a secretary.

Aquarius and Temperament:

Aquarius tend to be rebels just for the sake of having their own way. Their stubbornness sometimes causes their failure, they will continue to do something their way even though others have proved it is wrong, they are very smart people and know it is wrong but they will continue just because it is their way, they are very fixed in opinion and stubborn when confronted. Despite their stubbornness and fixed opinion, they will never impose their ideas on others, they have respect for everybody's differences.

Aquarius Deep Inside:

Aquarius are in search of wisdom, they are very observant and they can gather their information objectively because emotions do not get in the way, they seem to be above emotions altogether and when they speak, they speak the truth. Sometimes it may be shocking or painful because of their disregard for the feelings of others, but they intend no harm, they call it like they see it and do not emotions cloud their judgment, they are very detached from emotion. It is not that Aquarius are unemotional, they just to not trust their emotions so they incorporate them into their ideas of who they are. As a result, if someone does not agree with their ideas, Aquarius sometimes takes it personally, not as much as other zodiac signs however as Aquarius is intellect driven and not emotionally driven. Sometimes they wonder if there is something in life that they are missing because they do not feel like other people feel. This does not necessarily prevent them from being involved in intimate relationships, they are capable of this but the person on the other end will always notice an air of detachment from Aquarius. Aquarius wonders 'why?' so much that they can question their existence. They wonder if what they are doing is useful, they want other people to notice them and appreciate them, this is caused by underlying insecurities that wonder if other people accept them for who they are but these are never brought to the surface because to an Aquarius, it does not matter that much because they know that they are special.

Aquarius in a Nutshell:

Aquarius is the sign of visionaries, unconventionality and intellectual independence. Aquarius are the people who deviate from the crowd and go their own way. They are always after intellectual stimulation, constantly discovering something new, forming new opinions and stubbornly traveling their way regardless of what other people think. Aquarius are filled with paradoxes, they are interested in the opposite ends of the spectrum, they like to be alone yet are social butterflies, they like to experience both sides and see both opinions as they formulate new ideas with their forward thinking, active mind. Aquarius have a 'live and let live' policy where everyone is free to be themselves, an Aquarius never judges others because as human beings, we are all equal and entitled to our own opinions. They are verbally skilled and very witty, they observe people and learn how to interact with others through observation. They can be masters of manipulation justifying anything they do or think. As a result, they can deal with any type of personality and adapt to any situation. They welcome change because boredom is their enemy. Anything new is an opportunity to Aquarius. Aquarius can act as an expert on any topic, they are very good at inflating their own importance, they feel it is deserved because their eccentricity makes them unique. Conventional people beware, Aquarius likes to shock and deviate from the norm, this is how they live. Aquarius is known to pick at anyone they find weak or dull-minded. It is simply an easy target for verbal exercise for them, no harm is meant but it might be taken from the other person. Deep inside, Aquarius would never intentionally hurt anyone, they have respect for every human, even thought this might not seem apparent to the more emotional types.



It's very true. EXTREMELY!!! In case you're interested to know your what your star sign means, leave me a note in the chat box. You're welcome.

Shuffle Dance Competition

Yesterday, we went to Penang's Time Square. It was not half full until we walked to the end of the building. What went on there was way cool. There was a shuffle dance competition and so many youngsters were there. People were shuffling and enjoying themselves everywhere oblivious to every other one around them. And my Gawd Everything was SOO AWESOME!!!

Furthermore, they remixed the songs till it was a mixture of everything combined to become perfect music. It was a real eye opener. I saw so many kinds of people whom I didn't think existed in Penang. Most of them looked quite well-off in fact. But there were some teens who were nontheless smoking to their hearts content, which is bad of course.

Then it started to rain. Still, that did not alter the crowd's mood. Some danced madly in the rain, which made me realise that these people were here with the same passion and dream. The atmosphere was more than great, it was simply the best. No pictures taken though. Still, it would have been an unforgettable experience.

Time Square's not completed though. But I'll bet it'll be a popular hangout place in the future and nothing less. The only tick off is that it takes FOREVER to just drive up the parking lane before you can park your car.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Duston!!!!

I had the weirdest dream ever, waking up to the clamouring sound of the alarm clock. And to find that oh, it's just another Friday morning.

Updates on reflection.

19.9.09 - Updates at reflection.

current emotions : numb, sad, lost.

freak you!

Some humans are really irritating. They don't inform you of the current situation even when they know you're in with them on some project, some meetings, or the like. So damn ******. It really , really, really gets to the bottom of my nerves.

I do my part in getting information, informing you about things that concern you. It doesn't mean that you can think, "oh, she will call me if she wants to know about it" Come on! I'm not the SAINT aren't I?

IF I am the saint, maybe I would know Every Single Damn thing that you're not telling me though you think you should but do not!

I'm getting so worked up that words don't come pouring out as they should. I think it's the least decent thing you could do by informing me about things that matter!!!!Even the day before, the hour before or the minutes before!!! I still don't understand how some people can be sooo
IGNORANT and

INSOLENT and

IRRESPONSIBLE!

DONT YOU HAVE A HEART?

OR A MIND IN THE LEAST?


Freak you. You're really breaking my heart. you know. freak.

Damac Finale

Check this out:

Congratulations! You are successful in going to Dasein Damac Finale. We will call you or mail you soon. See you on 5 September.


Damac is a national art competition held every year by Dasein Academy of Art, and last year 150 students out of thousands were shortlisted to participate in the finale. This year, well well, yun yan and I participated just to see if we could get into the finals. Who knows!!! XD haha.

Anyways, I'm not sure if I get to go because it's really near to the exams and I don't want to flunk any of the subjects. They are way too important. Yet, a trip to KL would be a good experience as I'll get to once again compete under pressure. So, it's a choice I have to make, which I barely get to make, if parents step in. Gratz to yun yan who also got thru into the finals.

We're so happy XD HAHA

drumz

Reminiscing the past...

This is a lil blur, because of the lighting and all during the day of our anniversary.

Retirement?

Seems to me like many pople face the same problem in and out. Many trouble about not being happy neglected. And others just feel depressed about not being loved. HR really freaks me out at times too. Its like, Human Relationship.What about it? It constantly hurts us if we put too much feelings into a relationship. But if we don't, we feel left out. It mostly like a give and take solution. Sometimes, if you're willing to take the risk of being hurt by someone, you may have experienced beautiful moments with that person. I don't know, sometimes, it hurts so much because nobody can understand you that well if you don't say things out in a straightforwardly way. However, some things are just not meant to be said so openly. Cause it might hurt others and break a few hearts. Things don't come easy. And it's really hard to completely forgive someone for making a deep cut in your heart. It becomes a scar that remains there forever and ever. The wound might heal with time, but the scar will always be there. And that's why we hardly ever get over things that matters to us the most.

Speaking of which, today's our 24 Seasons Drums anniversary. It might be the last time that I'll ever get to mingle with them. It kinda hurts seeing that I've been there for about 5 years, and that this will be the last time I'll be looking at those familiar faces and new ones of course. And coach too. It may be the last time I get to experience such wonderful ideas flowing from a single brain which evolves into a whole new concept. It's amazing really. Although I might not be the most active person there, I've always felt their presence there. It's like you know you've always got a home you can go to if something happens. They'll always be there no matter what. And all this is about to end.just.like.that.It's disheartening of course.

But today, I felt what it really felt like to see someone presenting your masterpiece, seeing my team mates out there, drumming along with my masterpiece. I was fidgeting so much, even the coach told me not to get so worried about them. But what can I say, they're brought up by me for that particular drum piece. If I'm not worried for them, who else will be there when they most need someone by their side? Speaking of which, when it came to coach's masterpiece, which was drummed by another set of drummers, he was so excited that he stood up from his seat, and went to the centre of the hall where he could get a better view of his drummers. Now who's more worried? XD But I'm really really glad that before I retire, I get to experience my masterpiece being dedicated by a set of professional and experienced drummers, all of which have joined me thru these 5 years. I love them and will always be there for them. Cheers!! Well done!! Great job at the anniversary today!

What a month!

I sorta neglected this blog for quite sometime, getting "updates!!" from others. Anyways, life's kinda hectic at the moment, mainly for our Drums Anniversary which is going to be held on the 8th of August, which is one day away. This year however, I will not be participating in any of the items involved, mainly due to the injury on my hand ( which is annoyingly not recovering). It makes me feel out of the team because this is the last year, and I will not be able to give it my last shot. However, I do feel grateful the buddies need me there to guide them through our drums item.

Another thing to frustrate over is the performance for the Thanksgiving teacher's day. I don't get the clear picture of what we should actually do to make everyone happy, but I guess there'll always be a good way out. And with the help of coach, we'll make a blast, and hopefully everyone is happy or will be happy. I feel there's no need to fuss about the matter once it's decided so hell just get on with the thing.

This week is "be nice" week. I fared mainly okay for the first day, but my ratings seemed to drop as days pass, but I'm okay la.haha. Just trying to make my life more "colourful". XD I managed to get others to join in the "be nice" week. So it's kinda fun.

There's tons of homework to catch up on. And with the massive headache on and off, I hope I don't explode! We're going to the library once every week to study. It's so fun since everybody can teach me add maths, which I am dead meat weak at. Practically everyone can teach me. I guess I'm improving though. There's essay and esei for homework, not to mention the school's checking our exercises this week and next.

I hope everthing turns out well on 8/8 .haha. so excited. Oh btw, Tze Bey had the privilege to be the first one I drove alone to somewhere far.far.far. And #2 goes to Xin Tze. I wonder when's Xin Rou's turn? This Sunday perhaps? =P