I miss you

I miss you
I didn't think that the day we met was on such a day,
You were nothing special
You were far from outstanding
Then you showed your stripes
I noticed you from the crowd
You were more than outstanding
You were amazing

You were mysterious,
yet quiet
charming
yet not knowing

You were simple,
yet complicated,
daring,
yet not showing

The look was vague
yet misted with energy
the look was eager
yet so lonely and longing

You smiled at the simplest thing
and i snorted at the littlest issue
You frowned at the simplest dismay
while i carefully noticed the little details from what
which was so close
and yet so far

I still can't tell
whether you were that kind?
or were you just putting up a scene
for me to see
Were you the man you depicted?
or were you someone else
different from what we expected?

You walked away,
earlier than the rest
the look in your eyes,
gave none of your feelings away

You left unnoticed
you left ununderstandable
you left without leaving anything behind
you left me with a HUGE question mark

I miss you

darn acting!

darn with acting!
Well, maybe you had a reason for doing so.
Was it THAT worth it to hurt others while you got what you wanted?
How did it feel to be the control freak again and again huh?
Was it that pleasurable?
I guess it was, cause you're still doing it over the years.
It must have been like chocolates and diamonds huh..
And you,
maybe you have to face it,
or save something precious to you.
Haven't you noticed the hurt look in the eyes of the people around you?
Maybe you did it for the better good.
But didn't you notice how much confidence in a person that you knocked down?
We can't satisfy every need.
Well, maybe some things weren't that important to you in the first place.
May be your thoughts created a different scenario.
Well, has it?
over the years..has it?
And you,
why do you struggle so much to show the real you?
why do you want to stop acting in front of the whole world and be true to yourself?
Do you see others doing the same way?
What do you see in that?
Darn acting...

AUGHH!!!

So tired. Yesterday, we went to HZ's house to have a mini-gathering for her belated birthday. Check out XR wearing a MINI SKIRT next time. If you didn't, you've lost a chance of a life-time. Today, went to school, tired out. Who knew teaching drums could be so energy-consuming? Ahh..
My heads spinning. Had to drive back. Next, we went to somewhere in Perak Road to have dinner. I was the driver again. Then the journey back home.

p.s. I'm tired
p.s.s.lolz, i've been repeating myself for like thousands of times.
p.s.s.s.i'm tired of repeating myself
p.s.s.s.s I'm tired.

shites, don't bother me, I've gone a little sinile. I'm going to sleep. Btw, good luck to HZ, ZM and XR!Gambateh! well, good night.love you.

白天的天啊天空的空啊空白的白啊～白天空..白天空....白天空......鼓动晚来风Yeah!唔我为顶峰～Feel~~

busy triangle

Wah!! It was such a busy week for me. First there was four days of speech craft workshop, followed instantly by 4 days of 24 season drum's camp!!! IT WAS SOOOOO FUN!!!

Speech craft workshop taught me a lot of things. I learnt to gain confidence, to be able to face a crowd and talk about something, I learnt about table topics, about different people, different thoughts, different styles, different vocal variety, gestures, tones etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and on and on..!!

Next came the most exhilarating part----24 season drum's camp!!

4 words. I simply loved it. It totally fired me up to see the many possibilities in this world. If only we believe and have faith, open up our eyes to a whole new world which is in fact, or actually the world we live in, changes can be made, and will be made. I loved the camp, I loved the guys, I loved the games, I loved the moments when we were all together, I loved the moonlight that linked us all in that fated 3 days, I loved the times where we practiced and performed together, I loved the times we had to help out each other when things were not going the right way. I even loved the times where we had to bathe in toilets, eat together in the canteen, wash the dishes with that same tub of soap, got scolded together, got hurt together, got happiness together, did those terrible yoga exercises, the morning physical trainings, ...etc..etc..etc.. My, my, it was really an unforgettable experience. And me, I loved every single moment of it.

It's rather hard trying not to miss those lovely moments and people, but we have to look forward, learn and improve. That's what I believe. Life is like a train. People board the train, some people leave, some people stay a little longer. What can I say, live life to the fullest, cherish every moment we have! BAI TIAN KONG!! JIA YOU!!!

The Road Taken

Finally the exams are over!! Fu~Fu~ XD

Btw, was surfing thru the net. I learnt something today.

You know people are always asking how and where to find the strength within?
Or so I heard

"If you are honest with yourself, that is the real strength."

Give it some thought, it might prove true. There are times where we lie to others, there are times where we lie to ourselves. The moment you are true to yourself, you have found the right path. Walk down it and you'll be walking down a path you'll never regret for the rest of your life.

Think of the many times you have refused to admit something to yourself.
Think of the many times you hid away from the truth that you knew all the time.
Think of the many things that could have been different had you taken the first step and admit the truth.


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, which path would you choose?

Capture the moment

A dream come true. I passed both the driving tests without much fail, and I'm still in one piece, mentally that is..

It isn't to say that I'm weak at driving, but simply to say that practice makes perfect. And without much practice, (as quite obviously seen), I still don't see how I could have passed the test with just one morning's work.

It started about 8.30am in the morning. Seriously, I had NO IDEA what was going to happen the next moment. Luckily mum was there. Then, I saw Hui Chuin. She had come for the second time to complete her tests. And then a few other friends also appeared. We had to collect numbers and wait for our turn. I was in a state of blur after passing the first test. You know how our mind comes to a conclusion and says," THAT'S POSSIBLE?!?! WOW..." So you get the idea. We had to go on waiting for what seemed like hours, but was actually 2 hours. after the first exam. Next the instructor was yapping away in front. As I was still in a state of blurness, naturally I didn't hear him calling out my number. The guy went shouting:" SATU DUA ENAM!! SATU DUA ENAM!!" No response from the crowd. "SATU DUA ENAM!! SATU DUA ENAM!!!!" Then only did I snap back to earth. God knows how many times the poor fellow had called out the numbers before that! =S

Next I had to wait for my turn to take the second driving test, which lead us out into the roads. After approximately 1 and a half hours later, FINALLY!! i thought..my turn has arrived.Hence, I entered the C.A.R. The officer inside looked calm, so I made my way in by offering him a " Selamat Petang Tuan!!! (not sure about the petang or pagi cz it was 11.54 am ..anyway I just blurted it out) He stay calm saying,"Hmmm"

Then came the worse part. I forgot what to do next. I sat looking perplexedly at the gears and the steering and the clutch and the accelerator and every single thing in that blasted car, and nothing would come to me what to do next!! Tis poor girl..

The officer said: Guna jalan A!!

I quickly checked everything that WAS THERE, without realising what I was really checking. Not so bad la actually. THAT was what I thought until the officer said, BOLEH JALAN!!
I reved the accelerator a little (without putting the seat belt on) Luckily the blessed man reminded me, I WAS glad he didn't fail me that moment.

Then he started saying "CEPAT SIKIT!!!"
Then a "JANGAN MAIN-MAIN DENGAN I!!"
Then a shocking "I TAKKAN BERI PELUANG KEDUA!! JANGAN YOU NAK MAIN DENGAN I!!"

Then he went shouting in an even higher amplitude," NAK TUKAR GEAR!! I NAK YOU GUNA SEMUA 5 GEAR!! TUKAR SENDIRI!! I TAK MAHU YOU MAIN-MAIN!! I TAK MAIN-MAIN!!!

Come on, give me a break. Tis poor girl had to suffer the shocking waves of high amplitudes from what seemed like a loudspeaker.


Next, the guy asked me to turn back in the middle of the test route. I had quite a shock. Maybe he failed me? Perhaps he was too angry to want to suffer from my performance? All this questions started popping up. And I, drived back in a state of confusion, again.

He gave me back the slip at the end of the test, I blurted out a "thank you" and left without looking at the officer's expression. I was too confused to do much than walk beck to the bench where my friends were sitting. They gave me "the look". I shook my head. I told them I hadn't seen it yet. Together we revealed the contents of the exam slip. I PASSED!!!

Wow..It was amazing! A really amazing experience. Mum came to pick me up just at the right time. We had McDonald's for lunch. =D And ICE-CREAM!! XD

The whole thing was an unforgettable moment. A moment that everyone will go through in their lives, some sooner, some later. The unforgettable moment that was captured in just a simple morning day. Capture the moment, mum says. You'll cherish it for the rest of your life.

What a Relieve

I past my QTI..going for exams on monday..worried.

The 100th post

Surprise!

I resigned as the class monitor yesterday. Probably things were getting too hectic for me. Probably I am not capable of handling and juggling too much things at one time YET. But it's only in a matter of time that I change to improve myself. However, first things first and studies have to come first this year, no matter how much is sacrificed.

Today, I officially announced the news to the rest of the class. Some were shocked, some somehow gt hold of the information yesterday apparently.Still, I was in awe as Kah Kheng showed me tears glistening in her eyes. Proves that my effort was not in vain. My existence was appreciated. I'm glad none-the-least. It has been a great experience for me as a monitor for 2 and a half years. I just want to enjoy the rest of my high school life as a normal student. A student who needn't exit the class almost every period. A student who can afford the time to sit still in class, listening to the teachers babble and lecture. A student who can relax mostly and not having to keep up her guard the whole time due to the heavy responsibility entrusted.

I have at least accepted that I'm no longer the class monitor, though it was really tempting to shout "class stand!!" at the beginning and ending of every period. But it slips naturally into my mind after awhile that I'm no longer the monitor and should make it clear to others. I stick to my stand and decision. I would not want to regret the decision that I painstakingly made.

As for the song composition, we didn't get thru the finals. Pn. Chan who was in charge apparently did not have any cells for music. She was after the lyrics!! Who would have thought about that?!? lol, not me! I'm sorry for what happened. But Joy thought we did great. And that it wasn't our fault that the audience (one audience who makes that cursed final decision) failed to appreciate the beauty of our masterpiece. (lolz, I'm feeling sarcastically great yoday! =] ) The only console yesterday was that the other students from our class thought that our songs were brilliant. I guess only the jeweler can recognise the value of an exquisite gem. (definitely feeling great! XD )

All in all, yesterday was a terrible day for me. But certain decisions were made. I feel a little grown up now. And things are going well today ( except for the lip-crack that hurt me the whole day..it was sooooo annoying). I hope things continue to get well. Happy day to you!

=)

What a terrible shock

OMG JOY!! IF you happen to look at this post before tomorrow, which is the 29th of April, 2009, believe me,...seriously, you're gonna freak out.

I've just listened to the song of "ANOTHER GIRL" which we have been mentioning for the past few weeks..and.....I realised that her song is actually...QUITE GOOD ON THE MAJOR SIDE.which is a sorta letdown. Comparitively, everything sounds the same.

Believe me, my palms were sweating profusely the moment I heard the strange but sweet rhythm tingling thru my ears. It was like heaven. Now I'm not sure about the audition tomorrow.Cz it's QUITE obvious that I just finished the song yesterday ..and still with faulty errors here and there.and plus the fact that she gt it done like ONE WHOLE MONTH AGO!!! phew..I need a rest.My heads spinning, unless you count the fact that the whole world is spinning along with me.

I just hope our other song is good enough to beat the others.Btw, I wonder how are things going you side?

Song Composition an Accomplishment

MARK THIS DAY!!! I finished the song!!! haha. so happy. but there's still loads of work for me not done, still it's worth it i think. CHEERS!!! Green cheers!!! X'D

It's ironic

trying to forget but nothing seems to disappear,
trying to throw away but it keeps coming back double the price,
trying to acknowledge but refuses to face it,
trying to know but oh it's so damn annoying

how sad it seems that things are this way,
how awful it must be to be the one that's standing in the way,
how does it feel anymore to be a person that's just there but not really there?
how does anyone even know if it matters anymore now?

so it's like hot and cold,
it's like scared and bold,
it's like open and fold,
it's like you and me.

It's ironic.

First day of my driving lessons. 2 hrs passed in a wizz. But so very tired, i'm gonna retire to bed now.

Tomorrow is a Thursday. We have civics lesson. Aw, so boring. But i'm actually starting to believe that the teacher is not so bad as everyone thinks her to be. She actually enjoys talking bout her personal life =] but when we pursue on that matter, she just rubs off our question and ask us not to dig into her personal life. Ironic isn't it?

We'll be staying back for our drama class item. But most probably I'll be spending most of the time with Joy working on our song for the malam perpisahan theme song. I hope that it will be fruitful lest I don't want to waste any more time on this matter. It's gonna cost me lots to make this thing work. Then homework..homework..homework..so nice =S

Nothing interesting, unless you count the fact that I over-slept on the bus until I reached home. The bus was in halt. Everyone was staring at me when I suddenly woke up. Everyone = everyone + bus driver..Ah, it was so so so embarassing. But it was quite funny really.

And thus, ended the day of a predictable week. Hope things go well tomorrow. Ciao~

Ms. Ai-Yin here is kinda freaked out becz for the past 4-5 days, she has been thinking about the song to compose for the malam perpisahan thingy. And plus Joy is kinda freaked out too i think. Now see that things are not so easy. I think I'll start working on the chords. Might be able to come out with something to impress others..most importantly, impress myself. =) But lets just all hope for the best yet as we still have a long way to go

By the way, I have begun to type very very very fast with my fingers going "tap..tap..tap" and my fingers leaving the board.Not sticking to it. Just like playing the piano. Teacher says my scales have potential to go at 120km/sec haha..lol, it's just an exageration. But it's nice ain't it? XD *all smiles*

I'm soo lazy to do the tag by cy. REally really really lazy. So i think i'll put it off for the moment. I guess I'll go back to writting songs.. Tata~